Fine

I kept putting off the blog, but I didn't want to let it go past a week, so I'm finally writing. Maybe it's because I've been using AI so much lately that my brain's gotten a little dull and I don't feel like writing. Last night I wrote by hand in my paper diary for the first time in ages, and it felt good. The last page was from March. So it's been almost half a year. Whether I'll move it over from digital, I don't know yet.

The Seoul Station exhibition is done, and the San Francisco exhibition seems to be running without a hitch, which is nice. Even better, I was selected for Anthropic's Claude startup program. The monthly AI subscription was no joke and my tokens kept running out too fast, which was frustrating, but that won't happen anymore! So good. I've built all sorts of things over the past few days. By the way, information really feels like the thing that matters now. Wouldn't the people who applied late and got turned down have made it if they'd applied early?

I've barely been reading. I think this is the first time this year I've read this little… which makes me a bit uneasy. It felt like training that kept me from getting dull, and now even that won't go in. Well, I'll read again with time. I've also nearly dropped the music side. Is it that I'm trying to raise the polish by developing a ton first? That doesn't quite hold up, since it works well enough, and I'm messing around with other things more than developing Patternflow.

Time has become really important. When was it ever not, but the reason it feels even more so is definitely AI. The thought that you can make anything if you just put in the time, along with the feeling that not using it means throwing money away, and on top of that the sense that everyone else keeps moving forward and standing still means falling behind, has gotten stronger. It isn't good. My baseline expectations keep rising, and I need the ability to slow down and enjoy things.

Making money by monetizing AI, using that to expand my AI systems, making more money with that… I've been daydreaming like this more often. And I'm losing energy to it for no reason. Even while thinking that focusing on Patternflow is the right direction, I end up messing around anyway, which I guess is just my nature.

Back to Patternflow: yesterday I did an interview. It's for the Patternflow introduction video I've commissioned from a professional director. Originally I wanted to make it fun by combining videos that all the many people who've built Patternflow filmed on their own, rather than interviewing me, but only two people sent anything, so it couldn't be helped. Still, it wasn't bad, and was actually fun. We set up equipment in the studio at the Seoul Design Startup Center, where I'm a resident, and it was really novel.

We talked about all sorts of things: why I started Patternflow, what I'd done before, what I want to do next, and so on. The director ran the interview too, reacting really well and asking questions that were easy to answer, so I think we went over an hour smoothly. At the end, when she asked if there was anything else I wanted to say, I thought hard about whether I had some great line or something special, and nothing came. So I closed by asking that if you've built a Patternflow, please share it.

After that we filmed me working at the startup center and walking around outside, and filming in a crowded place really was embarrassing. Those ten minutes or so felt much longer and harder than the hour of interview. The shots of me working at the center are actually fake… I do almost all my work at home. It's a small studio apartment, and I'm writing this blog here right now; if I tip over sideways I land on the bed. To my left is a digital piano that's become a clothes rack, and laundry hung everywhere. The desk is too messy to film here anyway, honestly.

In two days the Crowd Supply funding ends. I wish the influencer in Spain could post their Instagram content before then… probably not, though. If not, there was really no point sending them one, and it's such a waste. Should I have just given it to someone in the community? Actually that might not be a great idea either. People who built theirs from scratch definitely use it better. It isn't just about understanding and using the features; the will to spend energy on it in the first place seems to differ a lot. When I send a finished unit… even though it's clearly documented on the website or somewhere, they don't try to understand it and just ask me directly. That's a little, no, a lot tedious, and disappointing.

Once the funding money is paid out, I need to buy a 3D printer with it and start production, but it's still uncertain whether I'll have space for it. That studio apartment still hasn't been renovated. Today too, after lunch at the cafeteria, I stopped by the real estate office on my way home. I drop in almost every week, and every time they just say they'll contact me soon and let me know after the renovation. This time at least they said specifically that they'd call this afternoon, so I hope they keep to it. There's nowhere else with a balcony at a decent price… it'd be a shame to give up on it.

On the day the exhibition by visually impaired artists was taken down, I went to collect the Patternflow. When one of the artists stood in front of it with a helper's assistance to try it, I was nervous. But unexpectedly, they really enjoyed it. Was the sound enough on its own, even without the visual element? Or since the LEDs are quite bright, could they make out the big changes, brightening and dimming, the colors? I didn't ask, so I don't know, but watching them play with it for a good while, saying it was fun, made me really proud. I think even an instrument made for visually impaired people could get a pretty good response.

I've bought parts for seven or eight Patternflows and I'm waiting for them to arrive. They're for the workshop I'm planning soon. Honestly there's no concrete plan. I don't even know if there's demand. But hey, I'll just try it.

I think that's everything that comes to mind.