How to keep going without falling apart

Where I am right now

Not great. It feels like my brain cells have gone on strike. My head will not turn over, and there is no power in it. I have been running without rest under the pressure of having to produce results in a short window, and burnout has caught up. The wish to rest properly and the urgency to make at least one more thing exist in me at the same time. The right answer is obvious. It is just that the part of me that cannot accept it is the one making this hard. Maybe if I write down everything in my head, it will get a little better? I am writing in that hope. It would be even better if I could organize this with drawings, but I do not have the energy, so words will have to do. Bear with me.

The first things to do

When the rest is over, there are a few things to fix first. I need to build Patternflow from scratch one more time, and document the process in images and video. Right now the build guide is text only, and it was written in retrospect rather than during the process, so there could be errors. The making is not simple, from 3D printing to soldering, so the guide above all has to be as easy and intuitive as possible. It has to look easy. It has to give people the courage to start.

To get people to participate in Patternflow, one more thing is needed. I have to give them the spark that lets their own desire to create take fire. I have to make the moment of ignition, and there is work to do for that. First, I need to communicate clearly what Patternflow actually is. Patternflow is not a single piece of content. It is four knobs that rotate and click. A device that lets you control the parameters of an algorithm using twelve signals in total. So it can become anything. It can be a media-art piece that emphasizes pure visual effect, as originally intended. It can become a game console for Tetris, Breakout, or even DOOM. I have not communicated those possibilities well. I should make reels and other content that show what is possible.

And further, I want them to make their own content. For that, the platform, the website, has to evolve. I need to build a pipeline so that code can be sent to the ESP32 easily. I need to set up devices that help people write code easily. This will include a prompt designed for AI. A prompt that takes a user's abstract description and writes it into concrete code that fits Patternflow's structure. I need to design the form and placement of that prompt to be easy to copy, so they can paste it into their own AI of choice. And the code they get from the AI has to be previewable in the web before being uploaded to the ESP32. This way, no one has the experience of taking the time to upload only to find they do not like the result.

Filling in the website

The current site layout is good. On the left, there is a 3D, manipulable preview of Patternflow. On the right, a panel that shows the selected content. It is intuitive and clean. The two areas can affect each other. As the right panel changes, the left preview will change too. In the Build stage, it will show Patternflow disassembling and reassembling itself. This way the assembly order can be checked more intuitively. You can pick out the part you need and look only at that. I want this to be easier than a video guide. In the Pattern stage, the selected pattern will be applied to the preview. You will be able to make patterns yourself. You copy the prompt, describe to the AI the pattern and the controls you want, and copy the resulting code into the web. It will be applied to the preview too.

That is the functional detail. Now the content. The text on the website right now is garbage. With the exception of the line on the front page, all of it was written by AI. All of it has to be replaced, every single piece, with my own language. Of course, writing in Korean and translating to English is something AI will still do. Even so, it will be much better than what is there now. I am certain. Patternflow is not a generic work. It is distinctly original, and small. So no matter how far AI advances, it cannot express it better than the person who made it.

The Inside section will hold the most important content. The reasons for sharing Patternflow as open source, and the fruits of doing so. In my imagination I see this picture. There is a globe. Including Korea, where it began, dots scatter across many countries. Click a dot, and an image appears. Patternflows people built themselves using the open source. Each one a little different. One has more elaborate decoration. One is bigger. The patterns inside are different. All of them are Patternflow. And on a larger scale, I would love it if patterns reinterpreting each country's traditional motifs showed up.

And the rest

Actually, the most important thing is this. The current v1 has one issue that absolutely has to be fixed. When power is first supplied, you have to press the reset button on the board for it to turn on. Power being delivered to the ESP32 and the LED matrix at the same time seems to create some kind of timing mismatch. But I am not solving this part. I asked Doyun, the friend studying electronics. He is good enough that I trust he will fix it quickly. Like this, I need trustworthy people who can do the parts I cannot. That is part of the romance of open source, too.

I want to play with variations on the case. I want to try different materials. Someone said they would make one in stainless steel. I am impatient to see the result. More than anything, I want to add an LED diffuser. Mounting a sheet of translucent acrylic in front of the LED matrix so the light spreads softly. The current retro flavor might fade, but will there not be a flavor of its own? It might even be more beautiful. Probably will be.

The main components also need to be tested in variations. Among ESP32s and LED matrices, I have to find the models that fit Patternflow best. The ones I am using now were chosen without any criteria. There is no problem with them, but they could clearly be better. If possible, I want to make it so people can buy these parts at a lower price specifically for Patternflow. The cost of building it yourself, minimum. The result, maximum. I will have to find the right compromise somewhere in between. Of course, that is quite far in the future. There is so much to do before then.

The most important thing

I want to grow Patternflow into a genre, a category of its own. I want anyone to be able to make their own media art, share it, and enjoy it in each other's homes. I cannot do this alone. I want to build a tribe. Let me lay the foundation well for that. It is still a chaotic mess. Tidying it up is my role.

At the same time, I have to keep the balance. Not fast, but far. I have to manage the tempo so I do not burn out. I am impatient by nature, but I hope I can do this. In that spirit, really, this weekend, rest. The flu has been creeping in for three days now. Get some rest. Do not regret it later.